Have you ever threatened to not give it up because your partner pissed you off? Sound familiar? Are you punishing them or are you punishing yourself? Does holding out really make a difference or teach them a lesson? In my opinion it just prolongs the tension and why not get rid of your tension emotionally and physically? If you aren't in the mood, that is one thing, but if it's just to get back at them is a whole other thing.
A good exercise is to look at your partner while he or she isn't looking. Check out the goods, the legs, the ass, the chest, and the neck. You know your lover is hot. You know he/she can turn you on in all the right places so go for it. Make up sex can be super hot... aggressive, emotional, intense.
Orgasms release endorphins and have a similar chemical structure to morphine which relieve pain and stress. Similar to the experieince of a "runner's high," the release of endorphins can also treat depression. Have you ever been depressed right after an orgasm? I don't think I have ever felt better than after an orgasm or two or three. After you come down from the orgasm, don't let the voices in your head tell you that what you experienced was wrong and bad. Enjoy the natural high and appreciate that you can experience it.
For those of you that are out there to make each other wrong, my husband and I created a distinction which has helped us make up faster. There is no right or wrong, only right and righter, and wrong and wronger. That way you aren't on opposite sides of the table. Make up faster and get it on. Life is just too short.